More than anything this experience has made me grateful.
I’m grateful for the life I had. The life I have.
Grateful for my parents, for my family. And I don’t think I have ever told them that. I always supposed they knew it, I was just to stubborn to come out and admit it.
I was always encouraged to be me. No matter what that meant. I always knew that whatever me I decided to be, I would be loved and supported. I was given the freedom to do basically whatever I wanted… whenever I wanted. I never felt like I had to be sneaky or lie. I was able to scream and yell and be evil when I needed to be. I was able to say no and yes and make my own decisions about life. My room was always a disaster, I could sit at the kitchen table painting or making clay beads until 1am, and no one cared. I didn't even know what a curfew was. I was able to make my own decisions about religion and my beliefs. I was able to grow up in my own way, with guidance of course, but on my own terms. I became the person I did because of the people I was surrounded by.
I know now the way I grew up was good for me.
Because we didn't play board games or sit around the dinner table talking about our day. We didn't wear matching pastels outfits for Easter and We didn't have to eat cooked vegetables if we didn’t like cooked vegetables. I didn't have to pretend to be anything other than the person I was. I didn’t have to lie about what I thought. I didn’t have to bottle myself up.
We "get" each other, on a level that not everyone does.
And looking back, I am so grateful I was able to experience that kind of love.
I think some time for retrospection was good for me.
I realized the type of people I like being around. The ones who are real. The ones looking for the truth. The ones fighting for something. The ones who give everything they are. The ones who love unconditionally.
And I realized the type of person I want to be.
I want to be one of those people, that make me love the world, and the people in it.
I want to be happy, and larger than life.
I want to be one of those people that walks into a room, and makes you feel good.
You just feel good.
I want to be one of those people that make you feel loved.
I’m grateful for this year, because it made me realize how lucky I have been, and how lucky I am.
Smile and Nod,